the beautiful river.

So my thoughts flow like the water which runs through a beautiful river of migrating fish,
Only without the luxury to flow freely confined to the disgruntled reality of abnormality.
Wondering why? Why when you try to live a new life, full of hope and positive stride you get knocked down to the bottom .
Looking up from here, my chances look grim, severely slim, almost like an anorexic girl on a diet.
So I keep quiet, emotions? I hide it. Try to override it and stop crying, because my fake eyelashes are sliding. Knowing that people are proud of me but i'd rather be tied to a boulder at the bottom of that beautiful river watching the migrating fish from the vessel i landed in. This is a pain like no other slicing thru me like a Japanese sword that has been preheated to one hundred and fifty degrees tearing thru me like a another lab created disease, finally leaving my dismantled vessel to finally self destruct without warning. The rain just keeps pouring on this beautiful river full of migrating fish.