Why is it that everytime I feel pain, or feel like im being violated, I remember being raped. I envision the day I was being dragged and pushed down... I remember being on the bottom of a big man... i remember laying there emotionless.. helpless.. and lifeless.. I remember it all every moment, I was 13; i remember being told "if you don't suck my dick i'll break your jaw, bitch i'll fuckin kill you." I remember being punched, twice, until i opened my mouth. I remember, like it happen yesturday and that's how u make me feel like i'm reliving that moment over and over again. SO. I kick, I scream, I ball my fist up and I swing as hard as I can because when I look back I wish I would have fought back even if it means I was murdered rather than living with pain of being violated and having my innocence and youth snatched away from me. I feel any and everyone who stands up against me is that big black hideous monster who took advantage of a little girl because she was by herself; the interesting twist is 10 years later i'm still by myself only im not that little girl and this time i'll fight til the death.